Gryffindor's Unlocked!
by Neeva Caffrey
Summary: What happens in Harry's 7th year and the pranks beginning...all the secrets layed out and watchful ravenclaws included!
1. Gryffindor's Unlocked!

It was the first day back to Hogwarts and everyone was glad to be back

It was the first day back to Hogwarts and everyone was glad to be back. During the feast Hermione lent over to Harry and Ron and asked them why Dumbledore kept looking at them and some of the teacher and Slytherins were glaring at them. Just then Seamus cracked another joke about Sprout and some Slytherins.

"Slytherins always glare at us 'Mione it isn't a big deal." Ron grumbled spraying food everywhere.

"Gross Ron." Muttered Dean wiping his face.

"Sorry."

"Yeah but that doesn't explain why the teachers are glaring."

"'Cause they're old coots." Ginny said

""Or maybe because our whole table has been rigged so that the teachers and the Slytherin can hear everything that we say." Harry said without looking up from his meal.

"Sweet mother of all things Gryffindor! Cried most of the Gryffindor listening in.

"How the hell do you know that Harry?" Seamus asked looking nervously at the now shocked teachers.

"Easy. One: They're using new creations from the twins…"

"And everyone knows that the only person better then the twins is Harry." Mock whispered Neville.

"That happens when you have the genetics of the Marauders!" Laughed Ron

"Second: I grew up using techniques like this to get away from the Dursleys." Everyone growled at the forbidden name. "Though those where Muggle means."

"And forth: if I was wrong then they wouldn't have reacted as they did." At this Harry raised his cup and smirked at the teachers. Everyone at the Gryffindor table burst out laughing.

"Sweet Merlin, Hogwarts is going to be very dull next year without you Harry." Ginny smiled at him. She still hadn't gotten over her crush.

"So Harry what plans do you have this year?" Ron said looking excited.

"Sneaking into the forest?" Someone asked

"Done… More than once." Ron replied.

"Go into Hogsmeade without permission."

"Please we've been doing that since third year." Scoffed Hermione

"Sneak into the teachers common room."

"Second year." Harry said

"Find the kitchens?" Every Gryffindor looked at the random.

"You don't know where the kitchens are?"

"Um… ignore me…"

"OH! Get the Elves drunk!" Ron laughed at the memory.

"We did that last year!"

"When?"

"Remember when the whole castle was turned fluro and the food was all plastic?" Harry raised his eyebrows at the others.

"That was when they were drunk!" finished Hermione smugly.

"I know! Sneak into the Slytherins common room." A second year said excitedly.

"That's impossible."

"Or is it!" Ron said slyly grinning at Hermione.

"Don't remind me Ron!" Groaned Hermione. "Everyone makes mistakes.'

"But normally its small mistakes 'Mione." Harry said grinning.

"What happened?" A third year asked.

"Let's just say that the Slytherins common room was done in our second year…" Harry started watching the Slytherins reaction.

"And 'Mione should put animal hair in Polyjuice Po…" Both Hermione and Harry covered Ron's mouth before he finished.

"Way to go Ron." Harry motioned toward Snape who looked like he wanted to kill them.

"Oh shit." Ron grumbled.

"Harry…" Hermione pleaded.

"So Ron, still want to get a tattoo?" Harry said changing the subject so that the teachers and Slytherins wouldn't do anything just yet.

"Yeah!"

"Where?"

"Back…" Ron said dreamily.

"Really! Well maybe you should ask Hermione about hers!" Harry said slyly. The reaction was hilarious.

"WHAT?!" The Gryffindor bellowed causing the whole hall to go quiet. The teachers looked like they were going to faint and the Slytherins looked quiet impressed both from Granger breaking their mold of her and Harry's cunningness.

"Thanks Harry… Lay off guys! I'm old enough to make my own decisions… and no I'm not going to show you! Plus Harry didn't tell you about his! Or his tongue or his nipple or his other TWO tattoos that he's had since he was 15." Hermione shot an evil grin at Harry who returned it.

"I was going to tell them straight after you told them about your… encounter with the club we went to in the holidays remember Ron?… you know the one where Hermione got drunk and started strip tease…"

"That's enough Harry… if I remember you were busy with half the female population that night so you can't talk." Hermione, Ron and Harry grinned at each other while the Gryffindor (excluding Ginny) laughed.

"What can we say? We're Gryffindor to the bone!" Harry and Hermione said as one. Ron just smirked at them.

"I knew 'bout the tattoos but I didn't know 'bout the piercing! You have been busy!" Seamus looked impressed

"Just like you and that little Amanda of yours that you 'visit'" Seamus slapped Ron on the back.

"Well done guys." Dean said with amusement. "In one day you've managed to unlock Gryffindor secret! Look at them all! They all going to have a heart attack." He motioned to the hall. Everyone (except McGonagall 'cause she's a Gryffindor too) had frozen in place.

"Damn! And I thought it was the Slytherins we had to watch out for!" a random forth year Ravenclaw finally said.

ENDE

This story is Betta'd By Twitch101....originally her fan fiction......I shall be continuing her one shot with her help.

See the review button...one of your friends right? Well if you don't comment...well I wont be held responsible for my actions...think about it.


	2. The Purple Troll Incident Of DOOM!

"Minnie"…..

"Yes Severus"…

Glaring daggers, Snape Began, his voice filled with rage,' "We need to do  
something about Mr. Potter, he's out of control, and that stunt in the Great

Hal-"

McGonagall cut him off, glaring daggers of her own, (she raged). "I see nothing wrong with his behavior, seeing  
as all he did was let on to some of the ways of the Gryffindor…in fact I was  
the same kind of Gryffindor he is, all in Gryffindor are the same way. It has  
always been that way and if you punish him you must punish all, which you  
clearly can't do! So to you my suggestion is to shut your fat gob about it!  
Understood?!" When she was finished she turned and stalked out of the room with a very Mess~with~me~Right~Now~and~Die! Kind of glare and an attitude to match it!

She left a very stunned Severus Snape in her wake, in fact he did not  
move until his next class, which unfortunately was with Potter and his other  
arrogant friends! 'May god have mercy on my soul' was the first coherent  
thought he had after his little encounter with Minnie!

On his way to class Harry thought of almost nothing but his next brutal prank  
which would take place soon enough in potions class…

Ron sped up behind Harry as he plotted and knew he was planning something  
from the look in his eyes.  
"What are you about to do?" was his automatic response to that  
mischievous gaze, looking a little wary, but  
fighting a laugh at Harry's sudden jerk as he lapse back into reality!

"Oh…it's you…let's just say it may remind you of Barney in troll  
form!" He chuckled after he noticed Ron and relaxed. They both entered Potions.

"Ok…Umm…whose Barney, and troll form…what!?!" Ron exclaimed in a  
hurry as they walked towards their seats.

"You''ll see!" Harry's replied winking, which seemed to scare Ron even more  
instead of assure him.

"Ok…as long as it doesn't affect me!?!...Right…It doesn't!?!" Ron started to panic, clutching Harry's arm.  
Harry didn't answer, (just smiled before removing his fingers and straightening his sleve.)

Ron paled. Harry not answering was easily…even scarier!

When Harry sat down with that all-too-familiar glint in his eyes, no one could  
have guessed what he would do but they knew one thing…In this class, they were  
steering clear of Harry James Potter!'

Snape noticed the glint as he stood to start the lesson and became rather nervous about it, but refused  
to let Potter of all people know that he was getting to him! He glared at the class just to prove his point.

As Snape wrote his instructions on the blackboard and taunted Longbottom a  
little, he subtly looked for anything suspicious in his class room that was not to be  
there. He came up empty handed and just decided to do his best and steer clear  
of any prank that he could. After all he was a Slytherin.

Just as he thought this, Potter grinned a mischievous grin that could rival  
his father and there was a huge explosion within the classroom.

Every Slytheryn was purple with pink troll hair, and every time they said  
something it came out in a sing song, high pitched voice…this included a  
very *** Snape!!

Potter of course was looking extremely innocent and his fellow Gryffindor's  
were of course bursting with laughter that echoed the walls of the class  
room. Weasel thumping his back in approval and Granger barely keeping the  
smirk off her Mud Blood face. Snape noted sourly

"Potter" Snape roared or at least tried to seeing as it sounded like  
squeaky screaming "Detention…three weeks…..50 house  
points…headmaster…now…hate… guts…yours" Snape managed to  
sputter as he collapsed into his chair with a great huff of annoyance and  
anguish as he thought of how many potions he would have to make for Madame  
Promfrey to fix all his little snakes and himself as well!!

Harry got in very little trouble for what he had done which to the Slytherins was rather  
disappointing, but to the rest of the houses the prank was extremely funny because they couldn't find a  
cure for it until three weeks later.

Severus Snape was not happy about this fact but he became very watchful of  
anything that could get Potter into deep *** for all three of those miserable weeks  
that had followed after, what many had come to call the "Purple Troll Doll  
Incident of Doom!"

Meanwhile as Snape bitched a certain raven haired boy planned away with his friends this  
year's "Incidents" to come!

"They won't know what hit 'em!!" the young marauder said with a lazy  
pleasure to his two friends as they each went their separate ways to their  
dorms to await the next day of annoying anyone they could and their night out  
on Friday too…they in fact won't be planning on coming back till late  
Tuesday that week end…Muahahaha was the last coherent thought the trio each had as they fell into a peaceful slumber .....if you can call "Muahahaha" a coherent thought.


	3. Michevious Day Of Mischeif!

Disclaimer; I do not own the songs or Harry Potter...I Juss wish i did.

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"Harry.....Harry......HARRY!" exclaimed or more like yelled if you want to get technical, but come on, he wasn't listening what so ever...it was really annoying, she thought all this while swatting him hard on the arm.

Harry gave a yelp of pain {a very manly yelp of pain for he would never give a girlish yelp, he was far to manly} "Great 'Mione, now my eardrums broken and my arm is bruised horribly...thank you so very much." Harry said while rubbing his arm before returning to his food "What do you want anyway?"

"Well you are kind of zoning and we want to know when we are to proceed with "Operation Freak The Teachers'!" Hermione exclaimed with the cool-yet-eager expression that took Harry three months to teach her.

"In 3-2-1" Harry replied and within half a second fireworks exploded and music sounded through the whole of the Great Hall as simultanisaly all the Gryffindors sang along with Harry In The Lead. Muggle song of course just to shake things up , a small disturbance to start the day ahead. Harry had taught it before hand.

They're gonna clean up your looks  
With all the lies and the books  
To make a citizen out of you

Because they sleep with a gun  
And keep an eye on you son  
So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work  
They gonna give you a smirk  
Cause they got methods of keeping you clean

They gonna rip off your heads,  
Your aspirations are shreds  
Another cog in the murder machine

They say that  
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less  
As long as someone don't bleed  
So darken your clothes  
Or strike a violent pose  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

The boys and girls in the click  
The awful names that they stick  
You're never gonna fit in much, kid

But if you're troubled and hurt  
What you got under your shirt  
Will make them pay for the things that they did

They say that  
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less,  
As long as someone'll bleed  
So darken your clothes  
Or strike a violent pose  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

Ohhh yeah!

They say that  
Teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less,  
As long as someone'll bleed  
So darken your clothes  
Or strike a violent pose  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

All together now!

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less,  
As long as someone'll bleed  
So darken your clothes  
Or strike a violent pose  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

When the song ended everyone of the Gryffindors, including their Head Of House and Albus Dumbledore had a grin on their face. As for the Slytherins, they looked annoyed,Snape looked angry at the disturbance, the rest of the teachers were flabbergasted to say the least and as for the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws...well they dismissed it as usaul because it barely affected them.

None was the least surprised when Snape gave Harry a look that cleary said "Why~Cant~Ur~Head~Juss~Explode~In~Some~Bizare~Accident~So~I~Can~Be~Rid~Of~U~!" at the same time as his "Ur~In~Deep~Effing~Shit"! look that was often addressed to all this he headed to the Gryffindor table, took away 45 points, gave Harry a weeks worth of detention, and got rather annoyed when it seemed to just roll off his shoulders which also caused him to walk away in a huff as Mcgannogal gave him a coyish/disapproving look.

Harry chuckled to himself at his Professor, "if only he knew what he was in for, he'd probally pull his hair out".

"Whats so funny Harry" asked Ron as his friend grinned which scared Ron because it usaully meant very bad things were about to happen, sometimes to him.

"If Snape only knew what he was in for for potions today, he'd probally call in sick"

Ron chuckled "That he would, Harry that he would", he let out a sigh of releif as he turned back to his food to let Harry alone with his maniacal plans for disaster, boy was this day going to be interesting he thought.

Ron didnt know the half of it.

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"Okay, seeing as you are are a bunch of dunderheads, I have provided a very simple task" Snape said in the most patronizing way possible," although since you will probally mess it up completely I have healing potions already in stock" he jestured toward the potions on the counter "please try to refrain from blowing up your neighbor if he is a Slytheryn, please try to blow up your neighbor if he isnt a Slytheryn, you may began." Snape said in a huff as he sat down to grade papers, that were worthy of nothing but a T!

"Ok..Harry, is it just me or is Snivelus even more of a JackAss then usual" whisperered Hermione in a rather amused/fearful way

"Yes, I do beileive you are right, 'mione." replied Harry who was very much amused by his bat-like Proffesers mood." which is why this will be even more fun"

"What will" said Hermionie uncertainly, when receiving no answer she decided it was best to pretend she didnt hear anything for that is what she had wished to do wanyway for fear of getting in Harrys way.

Not a half an hour into class it started. Small disturbances, series of them, small bangs and booms, soon all the slytheryns and their head of house had pink hair not that they could see it and there were still and hour and a half of potions left..oh this was going to be fun.

Only the gryffindors could see anything wrong and their sudden outburast of lafffter was just a bad sign that all in the room reconized. So were the little fits of laffter, which got most of them detentions or in Harrys case more detentions.

The a crack echoed through the room as two house elves poped into it. Both were wearing clothe which was very uncommon. They were also carrying large trays of corndogs covered in syrup. All the Gryffindors knew whats was to happen and inwardly smirked.

"Thanx Kreacher, Dobby." Harry said to the elves and took the trays from them , passing them among the gryffindors

"what do you think your doing Potter, no eating in my class" said a red faced snape

"Oh, were not eating these" repklied a smirking Harry, he then proceeded to throw the corndog at Malfoy hitting him on the head with it and all the Gryffindors took this as there que and all threw the corndogs at the Slytheryns and theier head of house.

Needless to say, Snape was Furious and Harry had more detentions then anyone could count.

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Reveiw Please..Oh and sadly I own Nothing of HP

LilOwl777


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